The Five Commandments
Your existence as a different person in the MENA region, and specifically in a place like Egypt, is a crisis, since you cannot live unless you abide by the holy trinity <<Man, Muslim, heterosexual>>; and if you do not abide by it, it is just left to how unfortunate you are, and in which spot of the pyramid you fall.
Your existence as a person with a different gender or sex identity and a Muslim, puts you in a black box by the margin of the pyramid. In society’s perspective, you are not Muslim enough, nor man enough; and it is even worse if you are a woman.
Muslims with different identities and orientations face a cruel crisis that starts with sensing that difference within themselves, and here rises the dilemma, between what they have been brought up to from one side and how they feel from the other, and what they want is a whole other problem; and the crisis does not stop once they accept themselves, as I said, society has mercy on no one.
One cannot live in solitude, and it is difficult to change a whole society that feeds on hatred, day, and night. Therefore, if you are a queer Muslim, here are some advice that might make your contact with the society less harmful.
- Do not get distracted by the road, as long as God’s the destination.
The best method to connect with God is the method that makes you feel closer to him.
Prophet Muhammed said that we should not let anyone tell us what we should do to get closer to God; he who accepts you as a sinner, will not reject you if you come with love.
- Do not look at yourself with the others’ eyes.
Do not let the others’ emotions and perceptions of your difference take control of how you feel about yourself, because those who look at others only see what they want to see, which is not true most of the time.
Always close your eyes and see with God’s eye, who does not turn but to your heart. If you believe that God loves you, know that his love is unconditional, and so should your love to yourself be.
- Do not let anyone tell you how to be proud of yourself.
Your sense of pride with your religious or sexual identity is a feeling that concerns you only, you do not have to prove it to anyone, and you do not have to justify it as well; it is enough to feel proud of who you are.
- If you are alone, do not wrestle the world.
There is nothing wrong with escaping sometimes; remember that we are all humans, we need to breathe and protect ourselves, and facing the world is not a responsibility we are obliged to withstand. It is enough to face yourself, enough to love yourself; do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
- If you are not doing fine, ask for help.
It is not something to be ashamed if weakness takes over you sometimes, we all live inside a society that pushes one to the edge of collapse; so always look for a circle where you can simply breathe giving no justifications, and where you can say “I need help”.
Finally, to all of you, do not make anything make you feel that your identities are wrong, or something you should be ashamed of, and do not let anyone tell you what you should believe in; you can be Muslim and a homosexual, you can be Muslim and Trans*. There is no contradiction between religious identity and sexual or gender identity, and if someone tells you otherwise, invite them to contact God with regards to this matter!
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