The Lands of Hatred

On that ominous Thursday, the 10th of May 2001, I arrived to the city of Cairo to celebrate one my friends’ birthday, which was decided to be held on Queen Boat, but fortunately, the location had been changed two days prior to the celebration.

Queen Boat! I used to madly love that place; as soon as you enter it on any given Thursday night you would find loud music, dancing and laughter welcoming you, as if you were actually in one of the bars of Le Marais district in Paris. No one has cared enough to bother us there before, and given that there weren’t any known platforms to gather with and meet homosexuals at the time, this was one of the places that were considered a real haven to find people who are like you, even the heterosexual staff had never treated us inferiorly, but on the contrary, they’d always meet you with a warm welcome.

I wasn’t over 20 at the time, and strong friendship relations bound me to many people who were older than me, in fact some of them were much older; most of my friends at that time weren’t Egyptians but we had one thing that linked us together, which was that we were all homosexuals.

I received a phone call from my French friend “Jack” who’s been living in Cairo for years, and works as a designer in a fashion company, and after saying our hellos and checking up on each other, he suggested we’d meet prior of the celebration, and we headed to Queen Boat. I haven’t had seen him for a long while indeed, and we sat and conversed, the ambiance was completely calm and everything was as usual; time had passed quickly and we realized then that we have to leave the place and head to Heliopolis to celebrate our friend’s birthday.

That night passed peacefully… only to wake up the next morning on a phone call from one of my friends making sure I’m alright with a tone of voice filled with worry and fear, I knew later that the police forces had invaded Queen Boat that night and had arrested lots of homosexuals; this wasn’t enough to them, they’d roamed in the streets of Downtown Cairo, and random arrests were made to some of the suspects, and they completed it with arresting some people from their houses whom investigations had indicated that they’re of the regular customers of the place.

I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said that the whole world had gone black in my eyes imagining myself in the moment of my arrest, same as any of those people. I packed my suitcase hurriedly, and headed to my little city taking shelter in my family’s house far away from Cairo and its dangers; I had all my friends and the people I know in my mind, but fear pushed me to cut off all communication with everyone I knew at the time.

Oh the horror I breathed with every time the doorbell rang, imagining they had come to arrest me… Oh my sleep that had become impossible when it was inhabited by nightmares… Oh my body that had become frail in a brief amount of time and my eyes that had sunken in the middle of halos of blackness…

I was reading the papers every day to know what’s written about the events, and I’ve seen faces that I know well, covered by white cloths in fear of the scandal, being pulled to the court room. The only one who stood in defense of the cause at the time was Hossam Bahgat, he was a writer for the Cairo Times newspaper, which was printed in English, hence why only a few Egyptians had been reading it.

They wrote that the arrested were Devil worshipers, and ironically there was this group that had been arrested before in a Devil worshipers case where they used to perform their rituals in the Baron Palace’s garden, and their chief spoke publicly denouncing himself from the arrestees of Queen Boat, saying they had no relation to them whatsoever and that they’re not queers.

Events followed with more random arrests around the area of Downtown Cairo, where the Cairo’s Immorality Police chief, Taha El Embaby, had intensified the arrests, torture, and insults campaigns against homosexuals. Even the only getaway that we’d found at the time, the chatting website gay.com, didn’t stay away from the police’s sight for long… it started getting under surveillance, and they started planting their units to ambush and arrest more victims.

There weren’t any social media platforms at the time, and our whole relationship with the Worldwide Web hadn’t exceeded meeting people. Then followed the usage of blogs to document the events on one side and to release some emotions on the other, even the Internet’s subscription was expensive and benefiting from it wasn’t available to all sectors of the society.

During all these events I had always found in my French friend Nicholas, who used to live my city due to the nature of his job, security and sanctuary whenever I needed guidance; and the number of attacks and arrests against Egyptians only had increased, until it was my friend’s time, and the security forces had ordered him to leave the country in three days only.

The news hit me like a lightning bolt, and there was nothing in my hand to do, he asked me to not talk about any details or share what had happened with anyone, whoever they may be; this was better for everyone in my friend’s surroundings. I asked him to scandalize them in the papers, and make the whole world see their ugliness.. but he refused because he doesn’t want anyone he knows in Egypt to be harmed, myself included.

I said goodbye to my friend who I haven’t seen since, and he wasn’t the last one I said goodbye to, during six months I did the same with four other friends that have been expelled out of the country the same way… for no other reason but being homosexuals, and that they’re spreading immorality in the country.

Between arrests, expulsions and escapes that have invaded my friends the safe circle surrounding me, between worry and fear from arrests and scandals, the most beautiful years of my youth had passed. I was fortunate to not be one of the arrestees or escapers, but this was absolutely not far away from me, feeling afraid every single second is a killing emotion, as if you’re waiting for death to arrive at any given moment.

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