Adam
I got really excited when my brother told me I’m going to talk about something like this, because I always play the role of the person who tries to educate people that are sort of against it.
The whole thing started when I took time to think about the concept of racism in its origin, towards if you’re born with a different color for example, if you’re born in a different environment, if you’re born into anything that is not in your hand to choose; when you were being born you didn’t speak to God and say make me this person or that, it’s not in your hand. If you’re for example born a very pretty woman, that makes things easier for you and people care about you, and she hasn’t done anything to be this way…. Why does society glorify people for something they haven’t done anything to reach, and at the same time we blame people for things they also haven’t done anything to be in. This was the base that I built my thoughts on, all the way from the beginning; is your color, religion or anything of these things in your hand to choose at least at the start? And then the matter started to develop for me, and I started to hate the whole frame of discrimination.
I started to interact, a female friend of mine was my first contact, she told me she’s a homosexual and I had no problem with it, it’s not a huge deal; and when I started thinking about it and she started talking more, probably it’s just a number of circumstances or a group of psychological things that happened to the person at the beginning… the circumstances made the person reach this, choosing to do this with someone from the same sex, and I didn’t see what’s the problem. Maybe people’s argument is that it’s not natural, but what is natural?... The natural is natural because all of us or most of the people are like that, but there are people who aren’t; and that’s why society really rejects this idea, it even rejects accepting they exist, or to talk about them… you’re erasing them even more!
To be honest though, when I first knew my brother is gay it was a bit weird to me, I mean when it’s concerning people around you then it’s okay, but when it’s someone very close it can be a bit intense… and then I asked myself what’s the problem with something like this, this is something very personal to him, it’s something I don’t originally have a problem with at all. When my brother spoke to me about it I started to get deeper, and acceptance grew much more.
At first, I felt a mix of these things: that I am not able to imagine him that way, and let’s not deny it, the whole matter is a taboo. It was a bit shocking, I won’t say I was happy, it took some time; it took me long to accept it, and me and my brother were almost not talking at all, and that was very upsetting to me. I know I usually kiss ass with people around me, but I couldn’t fake it if it’s someone close to me, and I don’t want to do that. But then I started to think about the whole thing, and when I began to broaden my mind and become more mature I started to understand it more, I was starting to see it differently and I already had this acceptance bit in me earlier, why don’t I accept the person close to me too, and support him as much as I can. As soon as you encounter a thing like this, you should talk with the person and see how he feels, it’s not easy at all and that is what I always tell people, a homosexual has gone through lots of shit to reach a stage where he can even talk with you, don’t make it harder for him. This is simply what I was trying to do with my brother “It’s totally okay! Talk about whatever you want, and I’ll accept anything as I told you”.
I personally always defend the concept itself whether he’s there or not, and I try to keep in mind that the people I bring home should be somehow accepting to something like this, so he wouldn’t feel estranged or defeated in his own home. Not all my friends would accept this, but the people I know will be coming to my house a lot and I know they’ll be in contact with him, I have to have had this discussion with them before and I know their point of view on something like this, and I don’t have to tell them about it… it’s his personal thing anyway.
I built my knowledge in this on videos, I love to know things more through stories, I love to see real stories, watch videos for these things, people who are for example open about their sexuality, when we’re so different what can happen, and I choose the middle ground that is most convenient to me afterwards. I don’t have any problem in being physically a man and you see yourself as a woman, and one of my dreams is to be part of a drag show, I think it’s so damn special; I am convinced anyway that every human being has both, but the society makes you reach one of them and stick to it.
As soon as I start speaking about this subject and I show that I am a supporter, or that I am even a bit accepting, the general assumption that people would make is that I am gay, and I don’t have a problem with them saying that about me, in hopes I would deliver the idea nothing more, because how I personally dress and look would show I am different or gay, and it doesn’t matter to me; for example there was this period of time in college when I used to wear a specific hat, and once someone came to me and said “Quit wearing this hat because people are saying you’re a fag”, I said “So what? I’m a fag”. There are people that you’d feel it would be a waste of time to get into a debate with them, and I am the kind of person who’d know the right thing but would be too lazy to say it, because usually I know that the person in front of me will not accept it. I can also say I face something a bit close to this discrimination because I am an atheist, so I’m used to this and I wish that people would have this acceptance.
As a teacher assistant in college, I honestly flip on anyone who mocks or bullies! To the point that he’d come to me afterwards and apologize, and I make him understand what he did wrong whether it’s a regular situation or with someone gay, because I don’t accept a thing like this at all. I am not just talking about mockery and bullying with regards to this matter, but also when it comes to appearance or even intelligence.
In the end, I can ask the society to go out of the box, and the chains that are made by the society itself, and try to look from outside for a bit… I mean, if I tell you that some animals are born with homosexual tendencies, what would your reaction be? If I tell you that it’s not in this person’s hand to choose this, and that he suffers a lot in his life just to practice something that is easy and very natural, what would your feeling be? Can you at least put yourself in his shoes, and then think however you want to think. Unchain all the religious, ideological, and social constrains, and start thinking without any of these, and then see how will it be… as a human being, not as a Muslim, not as a Christian, not as a Jew, not as an atheist, nothing but human, a spirit that exists in this universe.
