Yehia

Before I have any personal experience with someone from the queer community I had the idea of being accepting to any person as long he’s not hurting me in any way, not accepting in the sense of constantly supporting him as much as accepting his presence in my life, that he is part of the society; this all was already in my head.

My first experience was a true test, when this happened it was a close person, a close friend, came and told me about himself… I was surprised at first for a couple of seconds, and then I felt that I don’t need to support this person because he’s still the same, my friend, nothing has changed, I didn’t put any effort into accepting him, I felt it’s just exactly him; on the contrary, I left a bigger space open in our relationship for him to share the things that it might not be safe for him to share with anyone, I didn’t see it at the time as something extra to do, I saw that I’m doing the ordinary.

Every time he shared more details of his experience with me or spoke about his stories I was happy with that, that he’s sharing a part with me that he’s not able to share with many other people, I was happy I can be a safe space for him, and that he is able to share this with me in a good way. And with time we shared more things and our relationship developed more, and as much as we were close, this made us get closer and our relationship got much better. I sometimes felt that us being on the street stopped him from telling me something, I felt that it’s not nice that people possibly wouldn’t accept that, not nice for me and him because I don’t care what people think as much as I felt that he is harmed by this.

The truth is, I had a problem with this acceptance thing in my life when I was young, I started to change it in my character when I started to accept those who don’t hurt me, people that are originally part of the society whether it rejects that or not. I started to read more about it in articles or Wikipedia, anything related to sexual minorities and the queer community; when I read more I found that this is not the reason that would make the society collapse nor the reason for the world to be ruined, this is the person’s body first and last and what to do with it, is of his freedom.

If I talk about a topic like this in my life in any circle they wouldn’t accept it, they object on me doing that and state that these people are wrong, and they quote anything that would tell me that this is wrong and shouldn’t happen. Once I used a rainbow frame on my profile picture, and I got into a fight with my mom and she threw me out of the house because of this. Later on, I started trying to deliver my point view when I discuss this with someone, that if you couldn’t accept this person for being just the person he is, then you’re free, but then I think you’re a retrogressive person. Being a person that supports and accepts this has put me through silly situations, especially when I talk about it with someone.

If a person doesn’t accept someone from the queer community, then he doesn’t accept me, he doesn’t have the concept of acceptance, seeing that every person is free. And if he sees that it’s wrong from the religious side, okay then do that for yourself, but it’s wrong to impose something on someone, he might not be a follower of your religion anyway or has anything to do with you. Acceptance is one of the important things in my life and the idea that we’re all part of the society, and basically nothing will change in the society if we don’t all just accept each other’s existence, and not be creeped out by someone’s presence among us because we’re all normal, and if there’s someone who’s different then we’re all different, I am different to him and he’s different to someone else...

When I converse with someone that I know or a random person who’s against the queer community, if I can take him out of the whole religion point, I always try to talk with him about how these people are not harmful to you in any way, he hasn’t forced anything on you, he hasn’t harassed you, try to accept this. Try to accept that we’re in a society that has all sects and everything happens, and you’re not in a place where you have to accept this whether you agree or not. Now, I am not asking you to accept this whether you agree or not, I am not asking you but to think, accept the existence of this different person in life regardless of what he does; if you believe that what he does is wrong, don’t accept the wrong doing, but accept the idea that this person free to do wrong. I don’t always succeed in this, sometimes I reached a blocked road, but it’s okay, I think this all depends on time… I mean if someone comes out to his family and relatives they might not accept him at first, but they may accept him later, after a certain while this will happen.

Belonging to the queer community doesn’t always make this the predominant factor on your personality, as much as his personality originally as a human being is what affects it and affects how he is in this community; there are people who are naturally good people who respect your space, whether from the queer community or not. I also see that people in the queer community have more and better chances to enhance their behavior, because they’re in a community that necessitates them to accept people.

My presence among circles of the queer community has affected me positively in the sense that there are things I hadn’t known before, I didn’t know what it is to be non-binary, didn’t know what cis gender is, didn’t know anything else; I learned that “Wow, a human being has the chance not only to discover himself, he also has the chance to discover his body more, discover who is he and what his body is like? And what he is like as a human being?” and these are good things. When it comes to the negative effect, I don’t get upset but for one thing, that people inside the queer community affect each other negatively, I think that the natural thing is for individuals of the queer community to not be isolated, in part of their lives they have to get involved in the society and go outside of the queer community, and try to talk with friends and give them a chance to accept them. But I excuse them, they don’t try to form circles outside because they are very scared; they don’t test if people would accept them or not. I believe, people who accept you don’t have to be just of the queer community… no, there are many others.

I would like to say something simple to the mothers, any ordinary mother thinking that if her daughter for examples walks through a street that is known to be for queers, would she be scared for her daughter? I don’t think this fear would exist because they wouldn’t harass her, no one would look at her. Hence, I don’t know why a mother would have an objection on the queer community, although this would make her daughters and sons safer, because members of the queer community, as I always see, are always trying to find their safe spaces, so they would give safe spaces, and they wouldn’t expose someone to any harm or danger.

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